Arsenal (an artetaballing! 4-3-3): Leno; Bellerin, Mustafi, Luiz, Kolasinac; Xhaka, Ceballos, Ozil; Pepe, Nketiah, Aubameyang. Subs: Martinez, Sokratis, Lacazette, Torreira, Nelson, Guendouzi, Saka.

Everton (a sophisticate’s 4-4-2): Pickford; Sidibe, Holgate, Mina, Baines; Sigurdsson, Delph, Schneiderlin, Iwobi; Richarlison, Calvert-Lewin. Subs: Stekelenburg, Keane, Bernard, Gomes, Coleman, Davies, Kean.

There’s quite a lot going on here. Both teams have new managers and both have improved since appointing them. But can we really be arsed yet another discussion about whether the name of a manager who’s done nothing merits the suffix “ball”, or with examining Carlo’s Ancelotti’s stellar career of success with other people’s teams, when we could just talk about Bukayo Sako instead? Of course we can’t, so here we go.

In the 37 years I’ve been hopelessly obsessed with this thing of ours, never has there been such a hilarious, disgusting raft of brilliant young English talent. Why, it’s almost as though these things are cyclical; that the influx of foreign players has raised domestic standards; and that those who are good enough will always find a way!

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